I think I should feel let down, as there's nothing to chase any more, but I'm only feeling total contentment."What I want, and what the worms want, it's not so very different. I just want to live my life in good company, loving, and learning, and helping the world become a nicer place. I don't need to be controlled."I like what I do."I feel like I'm in love all the time now, I'm loving everyone, I'm loving everything. For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy. I'm sure you've noticed. It's. I gave a faint smile as he got up to go pay for it, but honestly I just was thinking…o god he isn’t gonna go lol. So ya…my dad paid, placed the pizza on the table, opening it and taking a big sniff as if he had never smelled it before haha. I was like…”Dad I ordered that for myself!” And he looked at me and said “A large pizza for yourself? Also I paid!” I was like…well it’s not like I asked you too I was going to…You just sorta got to the door first, besides ! I was gonna eat it over the. Mum said, between labored breaths: "A mother should never do that to her son." With that she turned and walked out of the kitchen. The next day, Monday, I got home from school and found her in the kitchen, chopping up a cucumber. The rest of the salad was on the work top, in various stages of disassembly."Mum, can I apologize for last night?" I asked."For what?" she said, non committally."For asking you for that sort of kiss."The knife went whack-whack-whack on the chopping board, spitting out. I was thinking as a woman, dreaming as a woman. I started looking out for guys on the TV and imagining kissing them or receiving them in my bed. I liked to play with myself and had started to guess what it would be like to be penetrated. I experimented with candles, carrots anything that might replicate the feel of a man. Each time I slid something inside me I felt so sexy and alive, and each time it became a little easier to get past the initial stinging pain. I knew I had one chance only of.
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